


Buck is here

by lemotmo



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24900169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo
Summary: It’s dark when Eddie finally opens his eyes. Sitting on the ground of his bedroom, back against the wall.Tears dried up. Eyes cried out. His voice gone. He remembers yelling— screaming, hitting.He remembers.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 81





	Buck is here

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned. You might need some tissues for this one. I made myself cry while writing this.
> 
> Read the notes at the end for more information on the character death and my inspiration for this fic. There are spoilers there though. If you don't like that, stay away from the end-notes and read the fic first.
> 
> I am not a native speaker, so I apologise in advance for any grammatical mistakes I might have made.

It’s dark when Eddie finally opens his eyes. Sitting on the ground of his bedroom, back against the wall.

Tears dried up. Eyes cried out. His voice gone. He remembers yelling— screaming, hitting.

He remembers.

Oh God—he remembers.

Tears well up. Eyes get wet. His voice hoarse when he calls out for him.

But he won’t answer.

Never again.

Buck is here. Next to him. Always next to him. Cradling his hand. Stroking his face. Looking at him.

His eyes are riddled with devastation and pain and his lips are moving, but Eddie can’t hear a single sound he makes. The rumble in his ears is steady as it keeps on growing louder and louder until it consumes every single thought in his brain.

He wants to reach into his head and rip out the rumble— rip out the memories.

Buck is here, gently prying open his fingers when he starts pulling out his hair.

He wants to reach into his chest and rip out his heart— rip out the love, because it hurts.

Buck is here, covering his hands with his, willing him to stop scratching at his chest as blood wells up underneath his fingernails.

Eddie wants to hurt. He wants to maim. He wants to kill.

Buck is here. His eyes big and round, surprised when Eddie’s fists connect to his torso. Over and over and--

Rage—so much rage.

Buck won’t leave. His hands steady as he gently circles Eddie’s wrists to constrain them. Shaking his head, whispering something Eddie still can’t hear.

That damn rumble.

He wants to curl up into a ball and never move again.

How long has it been?

Minutes? Hours? Days?

Eddie can’t remember. Doesn’t want to remember. Doesn’t want the agony of reliving the memory.

Buck is still here. Always. A steady fixture. Lying next to him on the cold floor. Holding him. Caressing his hair. Kissing his shoulder—over and over again. He is so close. Close enough for his hot tears to dampen Eddie’s shirt, but Eddie doesn’t care.

The world is dead to him. Nothing matters anymore.

He wants to die.

He wants—

He just wants--

“CHRISTOPHEEEEEEEER!!!!!”

And he breaks. And he shatters. And he falls.

Buck is here. Collecting the pieces. Loving him. Stubbornly refusing to let him go.

And he cries. And he gets up.

And he falls, but he gets up again.

And he lives.

Buck and Eddie are here.

And they live.

**Author's Note:**

> The character death is Christopher Diaz.
> 
> You might ask what on Earth compelled me to write about Chris dying. For he is a precious cinnamon bun and I love him to bits. I don't know... I was watching my son as he was playing and I felt such an overwhelming love for him. I just imagined what it must feel like to lose him and I broke down. So naturally I just started thinking about Eddie and his love for his son. Words started flowing and this came out.
> 
> I apologise if I made anyone cry. I'm really sorry.
> 
> As always:
> 
> If you liked it, feel free to let me know. It would be appreciated. You can even yell at me for doing this to our boys, if that is what you need.
> 
> However, if you don't feel like letting me know, that's fine as well. I get it.


End file.
